OK OK OK, didnt realise it was not all about welding type stories, because im the biggest clutz anyone will ever know.

Im 19 working on a construction site, 3 stories up installing hand rails(meant to stop people from falling right?). Some how I end up on the wrong side of the rail and I slip and fall the 3 stories, crapping myself for the whole millisecond that it takes to fall, then all of a sudden im on my feet on the ground squating, I think to myself, well this turned out better than I thought it would how the devil did I land on my feet? Then I try to stand up but im kind of stuck where I am? I look down between my feet and there is a piece of 18mm rio bar sticking up and it looks from my angle that im sitting square on it. Turns out that I was sitting on it, about 70mm deep right behind my blurter, Dr tells me another 2mm and it would have hit an artery and I would have been dead within the minute.

All in all, I was pretty sore for a long while after that, and I really learnt to appreciate the little safety caps they put on the end of rio.

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That makes my blood run cold, how lucky are you?

Farrrrrrrrkkkkkk!!!!! that takes the cake budy, well done.. get this man a prize,,, or maybe some lube for next time...

I thought I was bad for setting fire to my flesh but wow, I am lost for words

Yes, it made me feel quite ill thinking about it.

I have another story about me falling down from/with a ladder, and my whatsit lands between the ground and the ladder and then me on top of all that(im 2m tall and weigh about 140kg), but it makes the bum story sound lame and g rated, so I rarely even utter the story from my mouth.

I dont work on construction sites anymore. Employers insurance premiums have lower significantly as a biproduct

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Probably the best decision you have made.

This May Get Modded but i have a mate who lost his front tooth, not from a bar fight or work accident but from "going the Growl" on his missus, she bucked and kneed him in the mouth. PHUNNY

sound like your mate really knows his job

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Nah, he just gets too involved in his work

It might not have been her "knee"
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=felatio

Ok Mr precise i shall wander back and edit

Hey, if he wants to perform fellatio it is nothing to do with me.

It might explain why his missus broke his teeth though.

Yup, done that and got a nice little scar to prove it :P Left a nasty mark on the bone too